I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
