You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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