Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
