idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
