Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
