I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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