are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
how drunk are you?
Several
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
