That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
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