Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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