I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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