Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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