she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
