***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
