so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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