ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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