How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
