You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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