guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
