do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass