She's JV to your varsity
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.