Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life