Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.