What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
