hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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