Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
