I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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