Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
