You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
