Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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