Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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