you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
