Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
