he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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