That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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