You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
