"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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