No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
