I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
