it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize