Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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