ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
