Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
