I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
