i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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