happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
