I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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