white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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