I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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