Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
