Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
