i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
