yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
