Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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