Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
