you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
