when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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