If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
