Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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