Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
there is puke in my bra ... again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
