Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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