may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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