Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
